We Had an Intruder

I was doing my arm band-resistance workout while Nick was making our shakes.  I was counting to myself.  Five.  Six.  Seven – and that’s when I heard:  “OH MY GOD.”

I peered to my left and saw Nick in a state of alarm; his eyes bulged and fixated at the kitchen sink.  I panicked, wondering what it was he was staring at.  I thought maybe something horrible had happened, like the sewage had come up the drain, that I would see a sink full of dirty brown water, and that we would have to deal with this dirty mess…

And then I saw it.

“Oh my gosh!  A caterpillar!  Gross!”

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“Where did it come from?”  Nick asked, still shocked.

“From the kale.”

“Really?”

“Yes, where else could it have come from?  You were washing the kale—“

“But I washed it pretty good.  I didn’t see it.”

“It must have fell off, somehow. Plus, you weren’t wearing your glasses!”

Nick opened the fridge and grabbed the bag of kale to examine and search for others.

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It must have been five minutes before we decided what to do with our green intruder.

“Let’s spare his life,” Nick said.  He always referred to anything living, non-human as a “he”.  It’s something that rubbed off on me as well, that is unless I know the sex of an animal is indeed a female.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same.”

“Don’t use our utensil.  Use a paper towel,” I told him.

Nick tore off a piece of white paper towel, crunched it up, and picked up the little critter without crushing his guts out.

Suspended in air, hanging and clasping with its feet or claws, I watched the thing wiggled.

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“Open the window for me.”  I hurried and reached for the knob, as Nick took our green intruder outside.

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“Should I flick him? I don’t think he’ll make it.”

“Ah, maybe not. He might die,” I said.

“I’ll leave him here.”

“Okay, close the window.  I don’t want him coming back in.”

“Here, we gotta feed him.  I’m getting him kale.”

“Grab him a stem,” I suggested.

“No, we can spare a little kale.”

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The green intruder brushed its body against the kale, then taking what appeared to be small bites.

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“See he likes it.  He’s eating it…Ew, he pooped,” Nick said.

“Gross! That’s a pretty big one for a small guy.”

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We watched him for a bit, until he decided to explore.

Back to making my shake, Nick asked, “Where is he?”

“I think he’s on the windowsill – behind that white part.  He’s probably climbing up…Yeah. Oh, there he is.”

I watched the little critter walk around a little more.  “He climbed back down.”

“How’s he gonna stay alive? It might be too cold up here for him.”

“Well, we can flick him down…or he needs to climb down. He’s gonna die eventually anyways.”

Nick chuckled at my comment.  Okay, maybe not, I thought to myself.  He would find his way around.

“He’s our green friend,” Nick joked. “We’ll call him Wormy.”

“Is it a worm or caterpillar?” I asked.

“I don’t know what he is. All I know is — he’s part of this family now.“

No.”

“I’m a bit paranoid to drink my shake now,” I told him. “He could have pooped in there.”

“It’s fine, I washed the kale pretty well—“

“Yeah without your glasses! You’ve gotta wear your glasses now. New rule – wear your glasses when you’re making shakes.”

Moments later, Nick was making his shake and I was deep in my thoughts, disgusted by the contamination of this critter.  I told myself it’s better than pesticides, which is detrimental to my health. The germ of this caterpillar wasn’t going to do harm to me like how the chemicals would. Still, the thought of it had grossed me out.

“Honey, drink your shake.”

“I will…just the thought of it crawling around – it could have pooped—“

“I’m having kale, too.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t come from your stash.”

“Well, he probably was roaming around in the whole bag.”

Minutes later, I still did not drink my shake.  “I’m gonna go shower.”

“You’re not gonna drink your shake?”

“I am – I’m just gonna shower first…”

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5 thoughts on “We Had an Intruder

  1. OMG I am now up off the floor, almost died from laughing! You guys are really funny!! Poop is better than chemicals!

  2. Most. Awesome. Blog. Ever.

    I was imagining the interaction and looks you two had. So. Funny! Bright side, it cofirms that your kale is fresh and without chemicals. I hope you had your shake after you showered 😀 it’s extra delicious teehee!

  3. Pingback: We Had An Intruder Part II | LivingOutsideTheBox

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